Wedding planning is an honor and joy, but have you ever taken a moment to pause and focus more on the marriage you are starting? So often, a wedding day celebration takes center stage for your full engagement season and the forever promise and commitment you’re making takes a back seat. Are you prioritizing your marriage planning over your wedding planning?
As brides, we tend to get caught up in all of the details, menu selection, guest lists, finding the perfect shade of (insert color here), that just so invitation font, every song on our playlist, the perfect shade of ribbon, how to include your fave blooms, the best flavor of cake – the list goes on.
Girl, I have been there, I completely understand and frankly, that’s why we designers and planners are here to help you!
I know, it all seems like important stuff now, in the thick of things. Believe me, I know. I was there, I see it all the time and it is entirely normal. But I want you to step back, take a deep breath and really envision this for me. Imagine what your life looks like, with your family and soon to be Mister, in 10, 25 and 50 years. Imagine what it sounds like, smells like, feels like. Where are you? What are you doing? Now hold onto that and stay with me.
I bet that those moments you just imagined have very little to do with your wedding day details. You were probably thinking about your children, a trip you will take, memories you will make, holiday gatherings, family, laughter – something to do with relationships and experiences. Right?
Those moments and dreams you just envisioned are not created or born out of the details and things you are stressing over in this season. Those memories are born from strong relationships. From planting good seeds now and rooting your marriage in what matters long term. That is why I believe so strongly in freeing my couples from the logistics and details.
While I am no relationship expert or marriage counselor, I do have a few resources and tips that we have found helpful over the years. Publications like Cottage Hill and Beating 50 Percent are definitely favorites of mine. We also have read The 5 Love Languages and have gone through Financial Peace University.
Outside of these resources, date night is still one of my favorite ways to keep our marriage fun. Small love notes are also a favorite in our house! Making time for each other, unplugged and regularly is so important. During the planning months, set boundaries for wedding talk versus real life. Don’t let your social life, dates, time talking about your future and other important things go by the wayside.
Big picture focus will serve you and your family well, promise. I encourage you to look ahead to the amazing life and legacy you will have far beyond your wedding day. While it is certainly a momentous, joyful celebration, remember that it is only the beginning to the rest of your life that you build together. Yay! Plan for your life, not just one day. Leave that day to me.
What are some ways that you prepared, or are preparing, for your marriage?